Certain Things Should be Left Unspoken
by silvermoonstone23
Summary: Blue becomes bored while with her friends and decides to hold a pickup line contest. It goes about as well as you'd expect. {Mentions of Specialshipping, Mangaquestshipping, and Franticshipping, general nonsense, one-shot}


_A/N: I'm honestly really not sure why I wrote this XD I hope someone finds it funny...I'd say something witty in this note here, but I'm tired from exams (I have midterms all week, but I wanted to post this) Also, credit to my wonderful friend Vex for coming up with the pun at the end._

_Rant over, read on!  
-Silvia_

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Pokemon or anything else. Honestly, it'd be a disaster if I did!**

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**Certain Things Should be Left Unspoken**

"I'm bored," Blue declared. "Gold, talk dirty to me."

Gold nearly choked on his water. "What?"

The dexholders had invaded Green's large and accommodating house for something of a reunion, and were cooped up inside by a raging torrent, when that particular predicament arose. Each of the dexholders—at the current, only those from Kanto, Johto, and Hoenn were present, since the others' travels were delayed by the storms—directed their attention to where Blue was draped across an armchair. She looked royally dramatic, like a queen surveying all of which she ruled in a bored manner.

"Talk dirty to me," she repeated. "Give me your pickup lines."

Gold straightened, setting down his water bottle. No one had ever _asked _him to unleash his flirtatious talents. "Are you sure?" he asked, already excited and recalling them to mind, the way a computer might bring up documents.

"Blue, you don't know what you're getting yourself into," Yellow warned.

"Please do _not _let him do this," Crystal said urgently, having experienced the full force of Gold's annoyingness firsthand.

Blue shrugged. "Why not? We could have a pickup line contest."

Ruby blanched, looking almost haunted. "That's a dangerous game you're playing."

"This is stupid," Emerald deadpanned.

"Do any of you know how much a Beartic weighs?" Sapphire asked dottily, rolling over on the couch she was sprawled across.

"And then there's Sapph," Ruby said with a sigh.

"Enough to break the ice," Sapphire finished, a grin creeping onto her lips.

"And so it begins," Green sighed from the table, where he was at least attempting to do work. Crystal had claimed a seat beside him, as if keeping herself near to productivity would maintain her intelligence in a room full of idiots.

"That was beautifully executed, Sapphire," Red said appreciatively, though he was fairly uncertain of what was going on as he attentively flicked through Yellow's sketchbook. "Well, Sapph," the amber-eyed Hatcher countered, "most people call me Gold, but you can call me tonight."

"Oh, it's on now." Sapphire sat up.

"It must have hurt when you fell from heaven." Gold began with a classic.

"Actually, I was kicked up from hell," Sapphire cut in pointedly.

"So that's why you're so hot."

Ruby rolled his eyes. "Be a little more original, Gold."

Gold tilted his head questioningly. "Ruby, is that a Sudowoodo in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

"Maybe let's not say stuff like that!" Yellow squeaked, her face bright red.

"I second that," agreed Sapphire, who was, ahem, _obviously not jealous _of Gold's pretend advances towards Ruby.

"Why don't you try, Yellow?" Blue asked with a giggle. "This is fun!"

Yellow flinched, uncomfortable with having all the attention suddenly thrown at her. "O-okay…" she stammered. "Do you, um, do you have eyes— oh, no, wait, sorry, um, I'm lost in your map— actually, wait, that's not it, um, the, uh, map is lost in your eyes!" she spluttered. "Wait, I messed up…"

Red had glanced up from her drawings to observe this scene and was fruitlessly attempting to not find the petite blonde beside him horrendously adorable.

"Hm…" Gold considered her effort. "On a scale of one to ten, you're a nine. I'm the one you need."

"You're all idiots!" Emerald shouted.

"What's wrong, mechanic boy? Need someone to oil your gears?"

"That's enough, Gold," Blue silenced him as Emerald flushed rouge with rage. "Give someone else a try. How about you, Red?"

Red considered it. "Do any of you have an extra heart?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sapphire asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"It just appears someone has stolen mine." Red scratched the back of his head and laughed sheepishly.

Emerald stood up. "I'm done with all of you." And stormed from the room. Green raised an eyebrow at his exit, wondering where Emerald could be going in his house, but not caring quite enough to follow the boy.

After a pause, Gold remarked to Blue, "I think I need a Paralyze Heal, because you're stunning."

"This is giving me a headache," Green said without looking up from his work.

Gold leaned on his elbow. "You know what, Green? You should have fun with us, too. You're not a bad looking guy, so you could pull this off. In fact, if my preferences were different and I was a Normal Type, I'd double-slap dat ass."

It was at that moment that Silver walked back into the room after having gone to the bathroom and getting lost in the enormous Oak residence. "What the actual hell transpired in here while I was gone?" he asked.

"Pickup line contest! No questions asked! Sit down!" Blue pulled him onto the armchair beside her. "Ruby, it's your turn!"

"Do I have to?" Blue nodded, and Ruby shrugged. "If I saw a girl I wanted to talk to, I'd say, 'I don't want you to think I'm silly or anything, but you're really pretty, and I just thought you should know that.'"

"That's really sweet, Ruby," Yellow replied with a smile. Sapphire was gazing around the room absently, pretending she didn't notice Ruby's charming sincerity.

Red seemed to ponder something for a moment, then decided to turn to Yellow. "Are you a Pikachu? Because you're shockingly beautiful."

Yellow at least tried to reply, "C-can I draw your picture—or no, take your picture, so I can, um, I can prove that you're—no wait, so I can tell people, um, er, wait, I think, uh—" She squeezed her eyes shut, bracing herself, and shouted abruptly, "—so I can prove that angels exist?" She opened an eye about a second before Red suddenly leaned over and kissed her. Gold wolf-whistled.

"Green, how come you haven't given us a line?" Sapphire inquired.

"Yeah, give us a line, Green!" Blue urged with a smirk.

Green blinked. "I'm strong."

Crystal sighed. "And this has been Pickup Lines with Green, everyone."

"Some lines should just not be said." Silver shook his head in disbelief. He happened to be the unfortunate recipient of many bad pickup lines. Gold tended to try out new hooks on Silver (who, in turn, would hang up the phone or delete the messages from his pokégear.)

"Crystal hasn't said anything either," Gold pointed out.

"And I'm not going to," she replied in a clipped voice.

"You're smart. You'd be good at these lines."

She sighed, exasperated. "FINE." Crystal paused, averting her eyes from him to her fumbling fingers. She mumbled, "You're golden to me."

"That's a pun, not a pickup line," Green pointed out, but everyone else was far too focused on the fact that it was Gold's turn to blush bright red.


End file.
